There is a belief that every one of us has come into this world with one specific purpose, we have the right qualities and values to fill a certain need in the society. What defines whether we are chasing that life purpose or not is the feeling of fulfillment we experience or lack depending on the direction we are taking in life.
There is also another important belief that when we set SMART Goals and follow an effective strategy in a persistent way, we get to achieve great results. But what is interesting with these two first steps is that often having the right answers and tasks clarified doesn`t necessarily guarantee a successful result or a feeling of fulfillment.
What is the difference between people who achieve goals and other who don`t?
It is not about motivation, or following consistently the action plan nor it is the “luck” factor. What determines a successful path toward the goal you have set is Self-Love. When considering self-love it is important to keep in mind that self-love is not just a positive regard you hold towards yourself, it goes beyond that. Self-love as a fundamental for success in life comes in three levels:
1- Know yourself
2- Accept yourself
3- Manifest Yourself
The most important conversations you will ever make are the ones with yourself. Enter those conversations with a curious mind, do your best to find out what is it like to be you. Always start these conversations with questions instead of affirmations. We tend to be our worst critic and this builds limiting beliefs within us, we tend to see ourselves in a diminishing way. You won`t get to know the true you if you look at yourself from that perspective, the only perspective that will take you to a path of connection with your real self is curiosity. Some questions that will shed light and help you know yourself better are:
What gives you joy?
What is important for you to have in life?
What you can`t tolerate?
When you feel at your best, what are you doing?...
Finding the answers to these question and more is the first step to self-love. You get to know better what your values are and what is important to you. This way you may start detaching from everything that is not relevant for you and start directing your energy on what adds value to your life.
Self-love is not just about things you love about yourself, it doesn`t suggest to bypass what you don`t like about you. Self-love is about love the same way as it is about acceptance. You come as a full package, with your great values and your unique imperfections, you are not complete if you don`t take into consideration both of them. Acceptance of your imperfections is not still, it is dynamic. It means to identify your own challenging areas, accept them and do your best to improve them.
What are imperfections?
We are bombarded on a daily basis with perfect pictures of models with flawless bodies and beautiful faces. If we set our standard based on external inputs we will never be enough, we will always be in competition for a price that means nothing to us. One of the top challenges to self-love is body image. When you see a model on your Instagram feed you will probably feel intimidated and put into question your own body figure. This will bring nothing but distance between you and your own self. On the other hand, if you look in your mirror to find out what you like about yourself instead of what you don`t , you will start accepting yourself form a place of appreciation and warmth. From that place you may move to what would an improved physical figure look for you! You have to know and accept yourself physically and beyond in order to start a path of self-improvement.
“Find your goals in the mirror, not on your phone screen”
When you start defining the challenging areas that need intervention and change, make sure to create e balanced list. For everything you want to improve mention at least two things you love about yourself, this will help you keep progressing while maintaining a confident feeling of acceptance.
To manifest yourself means to show to the world the real you, without expecting approval or appreciation. All you really need is your own approval and when you have that, the confidence and happiness you get is the kind of energy that you reflect in your personal and professional relationships. You are a one of a kind, and when you know and accept yourself you enter relationships confidently and in the same time you are able to say no to relationships that need you to invest energy into being accepted and approved.
When you Know, Accept and Love yourself you are able to identify your goals from within and the inner drive that fuels your journey will never end. Your inner drive is what will take to the right direction, achieve your goals and keep trying until you succeed, because this goal is not about success, it is about manifesting your true self and living your life purpose.